Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I'm going to have a daughter before I'm 20.?

I don't really know what I'm hoping to get out of this, maybe just some reassurance or guidance, or maybe just knowing that I'm not alone... Right now I'm 19, and seven months pregnant with a little girl, Aria Rose. I come from a more or less upper middle class family, and I'm almost through 2 years of college for music production and management. The dad is a boy that I had been dating for the better part of two years, and who cheated on me multiple times, is an avid pot smoker, and who has been virtually nonexistent over the course of my pregnancy. I kept everything a secret up until easter when my older sister found the pregnancy tests in my bathroom drawer. My parents were surprisingly wonderful to me, saying that they would support me no matter what, and now that I've made the decision to keep her have really been my safety net. I have another sister, Lauren, who is also pregnant and is due a full month after me, although she's 26, married, finished with school and is financially stable. Every time I think about the two of them, Aria and her cousin, I can't help but think of the obvious advantage her cousin will have, with my sister not having to rely so much on other people to help her, and how my sister has already gotten her top-of-the-line everything whereas I'm scavenging garage sales for anything in decent condition. I'm 19, sill living with my parents, I work as a server in a steakhouse restaurant, I don't have a college education yet, and there's no telling what kind of role Aria's dad will play in her life. Am I stupid for deciding to raise my daughter?

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