I really need help, but I cannot afford a doctor, if I'm left alone I'm sure I'm going to hurt myself.?

Okay take this from someone who knows what you're going through, smeone whos made the attempt herself to commit suicide multiple times. You are not alone and for some reason even when you try to die you find yourself coming through it somehow. You are not meant to die. God did not want you to die if he did you would be dead by now. There is hope, when you were with her the pain went away. This feeling is not permanent. I want you to know that. Don't be in denial or ashamed but you need help, go to a doctor you need help to get through rough times so you won't feel depressed. I know death may seem logical at times or a lot of the time but its not. You have a whole life ahead of you and we need you in our society because every person makes a difference one way or another. You are not screwed. The right girl will come along too. Most likely when you're not lookin for her. So do me a favor and don't do anything rash because life can be beautiful trust me. I hope you get through this.